What the Girls Need: Fashion

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The 10 Most Winter Fashion Trends

Fashion shows are not always directly applicable to your everyday style, but that does not mean you can not glean some inspiration and make their own. We have seen ten trends winter you can try; people are surprisingly practical during the winter. Of extra long sleeves for the return of the once-maligned leggings, this is what we use to keep warm (but looks cool) this winter.

1. SKI JACKETS
The wax ski jacket makes its way from the slope to the runway thanks to the cold suppliers, Balenciaga this Demna Gvasalia. Revoking North Face coat on your own or Roxy and style them with trousers and heels for the office.

2. EXTRA-LONG SLEEVES
Who needs cold weather accessories when your arms extend past your fingers? Rihanna-approved (seen here at her Fenty x Puma runway debut) extra long sleeves are the perfect alternative to the glove. No more fumbling when you receive an incoming call-all you have to do is wiggle your hands!

3. PUFFER COATS
As an avid fan of Patagonia, I am pleased to announce that finally cool puffer jacket. But more than just down feathers and high-tech insulation, style this season varies from striking (like a number of these metals from Vivenne Westwood) to hairy. On an LBD with puffer jacket for a chic but comfortable evening.

4. TURTLENECKS UNDER DRESSES
Instead of decorating your summer dresses, coating them with a turtleneck knit like Tory Burch doing here, and voila! You have doubled your winter wardrobe.

5. PLATFORM BOOTS
Keeping your legs high and dry with 90s inspired platform. The cheetah boots by Maison Margiela will make the Spice Girls are proud, while the patent leather version can handle stomping through the streets of liquid.

6. TROOPER HATS

You do not need to sporting greatness Ushankas seen at Louis Vuitton, but keep in mind that the police hat is the savior cold. Hairy ear flaps are far superior to knit beanies, keep your ears warm throughout the season.

7. NAVY OVERCOATS

Last winter, we are obsessed with a camel coat. That was the easy part matching denim, evening clothes, and everything in between. And although we are still in love with them, we think neutral-match outerwear met with Navy inspired coats this season. As seen in Coach, gold-buttoned coat just as versatile, but a little more dramatic.

8. PATENT TRENCH COATS

For the unseasonably warm winter (too cold for the jacket, too hot for wool coats), took note of Isabel Marant. A patent trench will offer warmth than light counterparts, without causing you to overheat.

9. LEGGINGS

Phoebe Philo surprised everyone last season by introducing something that we thought was dead and gone: the leggings. Céline stretchy pants are laid under dresses and skirts prove it is time we embraced convenient viewing.

10. FAUX FUR STOLES

Fur and faux fur stole made their way back in style thanks to designers like Monse. Drape them on the diagonal or attach it to your lapel as comfortable faux collar.

Daily Simple Dress

Simple and chic daily dress

More attractive dress for young women.

Duo tone colours make it simple.

Will Iphone 6 Favored the Women ?

Iphone 6 has just been released by Apple, Iphone always brings a special phenomenon in the world of technology, specifically smartphones. This is evident from almost all electronic media that discusses technology mostly discuss the presence of this Iphone 6.
Even in the stock trading much to discuss about the presence of this latest gadget.

Iphone for fashion

Iphone and fashion, are two complementary trends. Since the first edition was released Iphone, Iphone fashion and always complement each other, especially for young women or career women.

Iphone 6 Bend

The news about the iPhone 6 is easily bent, will be influencing fashion trends this gadget. !

Women Office Dress Hot Lady

Simple, agile and intelligent. Impression that there is on this office dress. The combination of attractive colors combined with black and silver colors on the blouse that integrates with the main outfit, making a woman look smart agile and nimble. Awesome!

Open Back Wedding Dress By Andrean

In addition to presenting a conventional wedding dress, Andrean professional designers, also presented its latest collection of open back wedding dress. With the impression of a more casual, open back wedding dress present without compromising the elegant impression. Ready to enliven the wedding dress trend in 2014.

Elegan Wedding Dress By Andrean

Andrean professional designers, again presents the latest design for the wedding dress. This design is expected to be a new trend for wedding dress in 2014 With a graceful white base color, will add an elegant wedding party.

Office Fashion, Dress for Success - Men & Women

Whether you’ve landed your first office job or you’re just at a point in your career where you want to rethink the impressions you make on coworkers, dressing for success is not a cliché. It’s a necessity.

STOP FIGHTING IT
Let’s kick the exceptions to the curb right off the bat. Yes, if you’re Bill Gates you can get away with wearing your pajamas to work if you want to. If you work at MTV or in an artistic field, your office may be very casual and self-expressive. If your father owns the company, if you are in IT, or if you don’t care at all about getting ahead, you are exempt from this HUB.
Get off your soapbox about non-conformity. When we work, we are in uniform. All of us. Nobody who works at Denny's woke up and screamed, "My god! I want to wear bullet-proof polyester from head to toe every damn day!" No body who works at UPS chooses to wear Hershey Bar colored clothes. Yours is a uniform too. There is no reason to rebel against it. If you didn't want to work in an office, you should have majored in archeology or become a plumber.
If thinking of it as a game makes you feel better, go for it. I promise you, the impression your wardrobe makes is important in the workplace. If you work for a financial company or law firm, the more conservatively you can dress, the better. For every office in between, ere on the side of safety: build a more professional business-like wardrobe that you can relax as time goes on if you feel inclined.

DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE JOB YOU HAVE
It's an old piece of advice but it's still around because it works. If you have an entry-level position and hope to climb the company ladder, don't dress like an entry-level employee. Stand out and show your goals: dress like your boss's boss dresses.

INVEST IN YOUR WARDROBE
Don't be afraid to splurge. These are investments in your long-term career goals. Your employers see you as a reflection of the company, and of themselves. You want to be perceived professionally. Don't be afraid to purchase good pieces that you will wear over and over for a long time.

MEN
If you can afford to shop at the Armani Emporium, what are you reading this for? You should be out shopping! If you can't, then seek out alternatives. Outlets are a great idea, and if you have some time you can hunt and peck through second stores like TJMax and Marshall's. Look for tried and true designers. Avoid flashy trendy mall shops, for office attire shopping anyway.
JCPenney’s has a men’s department that just about everyone can afford. They have a diverse selection of styles and sizes, and tailoring is available in most stores.
Stay away from casual trousers like chinos or Dockers. It’s an immature and lazy look in the office. Don't look rumpled or wrinkled. Dry clean, or at least wash the clothes yourself and then bring them to the dry cleaner for professional pressing at about half the cost of dry cleaning.
When picking shirts and ties look at the styling your boss’s boss uses. The classic white pinpoint oxford and striped tie will never go out of style. But fashion has come a long way in the last 20 years. I’m not saying to wear the same fashion forward suiting you’d wear when you go out for a nice evening of dining and clubbing in Manhattan. But if your boss’s boss and the president of the company are wearing bold colored shirts and stylized ties (wide width ties were all over the fall preview runways at every fashion show I hit last April and believe me I hit them all) then you are safe to indulge.

DON'T FORGET THAT WHAT YOU LIKE AND WHAT'S IN STYLE ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS
It’s good to have your own style, but pay attention to what makes you look dated, or small town. Balance that out with not picking out what will make you look much more trendy than your boss: it works in clubs, it doesn't work in the office.
When you’re out in the city you want your friends and the people you meet to look at your clothes and think: cover of GQ, cover of men’s Vogue. This is not what you want them to think in your office. While you’re climbing the corporate ladder especially, you want them to think: fits right in here, reflects the mindset of our team.
Accessories matter. Abandon that weathered worn wallet for a new clean one. Shine your shoes and don’t ruin your look with a lug sole or casual shoe. Wear a sharp looking belt. Wear a good watch that people might notice. Don’t over-do the jewelry in the office.

WOMEN
For the ladies things aren’t always as cut and dry. Skirt lengths vary, heel heights vary, boot lengths vary, and even suits vary. Your best tip for starting out is to take a good look at the women in your office. I don’t mean the women in customer service or the women on your level. I mean, the highest executives.
Your best friend is a tailored classic blazer. Don’t be afraid to invest in a few in conservative neutral colors like black, navy, gray, tan and beige. They can be changed from day to day with what you pair it with. The same classic black blazer with pearls and a jewel neck shell will look entirely differently the next day with a cashmere turtleneck and a stylish pin or brooch. And you can wear it again later in the week with a button front shirt and a scarf.
Whether you wear skirts or pants, fit is important. Tailoring is often easier than you think. The same dry cleaning tips apply to women. You don't want to look like the woman in the office that saves money on dry cleaning. You want to look neat, pressed, clean, sharp, crisp and pulled together.
The same fashion forward consciousness applies with the ladies. You may really love looking like the cover of W magazine. But if the high-powered executive women at your firm dress more classic or conservatively, take a hint. You can re-write the silent code when you are CEO. But for now, be careful. Women can be much more competitive about dressing then men in the office. You’re goal is to dress to impress and fit in, not to shock or out-do.
Your accessories are important too. Think timeless designer when choosing a ladies briefcase, a classic handbag, a good watch, a newer clean wallet and key fob. We’ve come a long way from the standard office dress code that states no open toed shoes, but a peek-a-boo toe is a far cry from a sandal.
In the office your jewelry shouldn’t make noise. As cute as it may be if your gold bangles clang a little when you’re dining, in the office it’s considered unprofessional. Understated jewelry is usually safest. Be careful what your jewelry says about you. You do not want to wear your martini glass brooch or your Hello Kitty watch to an important meeting. These things don’t come across as fun or cute.
Above all, watch the slutty look. Nothing too revealing or sexy should ever be worn to a professional office setting. Spaghetti straps, stilettos, shorts, short skirts, tube tops… god, do I really need to even tell you that those are no-no's? There are different kinds of attention. Be careful to earn the attention that will serve your career best.

CASUAL FRIDAY
Casual Friday is business casual. It does not mean t-shirts, sweatshirts, or sneakers. A collared crew shirt or button front shirt, khakis, and a boat shoe are a good start for both sexes. Again, look at your boss's boss for tips on how far you can go, and where you dare not tread.
If you are confused about casual Fridays, skip it and wear your normal office wear. It's better to be over dressed than under dressed. It also shows you may have things going on in your professional life outside of the office.
Ladies, if you select to wear jeans, they should not be tight, torn, embellished or faded. A good clean pair of dark denim straight leg jeans with a boot or sandal is probably ok, especially with a white t-shirt and navy emblem blazer.
Men, be careful of sporting anything team-related. If you wear a very nice Yankee crew shirt and it turns out your boss if from Boston, it might leave a bad taste. I'm not saying your boss is a jerk. I'm saying, why would you take the chance on offending anyone in the building, even subliminally, that might one day have something to do with your career path.
Casual Friday is not your opportunity to express yourself. It's still an office. It's still a place where you work with your work face on.

FINAL TIP
Keep a spare in your car.
If you don't drive to work, try to keep a new shirt in a desk drawer.
You never know when a cup of coffee will get away from you or a coworker standing close by. You never know when you will lose a button, or have to change the toner cartridge, or change a tire, or get a bloody nose...
Additionally, if you ever wind up stuck, snowed in, spending the night somewhere you didn't expect to (whether by luck or disaster) you will still make a good impression in the office the next day. If you can, leave your shaving kit or overnight bag in your car too. In a pinch you can usually get to a CVS to get the basics you need, but you can't usually get a suit, shoes and undergarments on the fly.
Even if you make a same-day change due to a mishap and your boss notices, you're being seen as prepared and ever professional. Do you want to be known as the guy with the stain, or the guy always ready and looking good?

Samsung Galaxy S2 i9200 Slim Gadget for Active Girls

It’s a slow news day, so lets dabble our feet in the murky rumor waters for a while and take a look at what we’re told is the Samsung Galaxy S2 i9200. The tipped successor to the Galaxy S, and supposedly due in early 2011, according to the talk circulating Russian forum itrans the Galaxy S2 is said to have a whopping 4.3-inch 1,280 x 720 Super AMOLED display with around 340 pixels per inch, certainly intruding into Apple’s Retina Display realm.
Meanwhile there’s also supposedly a 2GHz CPU paired with 1GB of RAM and a 4GB ROM, together with 32GB of flash storage and a microSD card slot. The camera is said to be 8-megapixels capable of not just 720p but 1080p Full HD video recording, and the OS to be Android “Gingerbread” which we’ve heard is expected to drop in Q4 this year. Connectivity includes WiFi b/g/n and Bluetooth 3.0, while there’s also A-GPS, an accelerometer, gyroscope, proximity and ambient light sensors.

Now, we’re obviously in skeptic-mode at what’s undoubtedly a bulging spec list. The display and the processor are probably the most unbelievable aspects, though Samsung are tipped to be starting mass production at a new, 5th-gen AMOLED plant in Q1 2011. We’re guessing that the 2GHz processor mentioned would be a new version of Samsung’s own Hummingbird chip, though we’re yet to hear of one running at that speed. All in all, plenty of reason to doubt the rumors, but we can’t help but wish they’d come true.

Bamboo iPhone 4 Cases Show Your Go Green in Fashion

If an iPhone 4 has arrived on your doorstep, you'll probably be sizing-up potential cases already. You don't want to end up with a scratched iPhone, so rather than spring for an overpriced Bumper, check out these stylish bamboo cases.
Grove, a company based in Portland, Oregon, specializes in using sustainable, eco-friendly materials. Their new case for iPhone 4 only adds .07 of an inch to the thickness of the phone, with a metal bezel and custom engravings on the back.
Normally priced at $99, they're currently selling them off for $49 if you pre-order. That $49 price is for the plain variety, but if you'd like an engraved one, then it'll set you back $69.

The Closet Thinker: Think pink

Justine Picardie on why pink is not just for Valentine's Day.

Paris haute couture represents fashion at its most extravagantly romantic; and nothing seems to have dampened its spirits - neither grey skies nor dark economic forecasts. Indeed, even as I dodged rain-showers and puddles between shows in the latter days of January, I was reminded of Kay Thompson singing 'Think pink!' in Funny Face , a 1957 musical as effervescent as this year's spring collections.

At Chanel Karl Lagerfeld showed rose-petal chiffon dresses and bouclé tweed suits so exquisite that they might have been spun out of sugar, on models wearing flat black satin slippers that let them move with the ease of a young Audrey Hepburn. John Galliano also produced flurries of pink at Christian Dior - rippling from dark to light in layers of tulle and clouds of marabou feathers (a homage both to the founder of the couture house, and to René Gruau, an illustrator whose work in the late 1940s and 1950s was an intrinsic element of Dior's iconography). Christian Dior himself described pink 'as the sweetest of all colours', advising that 'every woman should have something pink in her wardrobe. It is the colour of happiness…'

Back in London it feels less easy to embrace pink, though not for lack of availability. You can find a plethora of neon-pink frocks in Christopher Kane's spring/summer collection, and at Jil Sander, where the spectrum runs from pale sherbet to vivid cerise; while the high street is pulsing with candy colour. Perhaps it's the imminence of Valentine's Day that is making me wary of the sartorially obvious (pink being the de facto colour of romance); but after the pleasure of watching Paris couture - the ultimate in escapism - I seem to be lapsing back into black or grey.

The alternative, perhaps, is to think of pink as shocking, rather than sweet; like Elsa Schiaparelli, the Italian couturier whose surrealist designs in 1930s Paris served as an antidote to the Depression. Bettina Ballard, a Vogue fashion editor who worked in France until the outbreak of the Second World War (when she gave up shocking pink to don a Red Cross uniform), described Schiaparelli's 'hard elegance' as 'a highly individual chic [that] stands out like a beacon… making the rest of the couture look pretty and characterless'.

Schiaparelli's business struggled in the postwar period, outshone by the advent of Dior and the return of Chanel, then finally closing in 1954. But her granddaughter, the actress and model Marisa Berenson, was resplendent in the front row of the Dior couture show last month… in black, like almost everyone else.

DKNY autumn/winter 2011 at New York Fashion Week

Designer Donna Karan played with graphics in a slick collection of sporty, uptown separates.

Donna Karan played with graphics in a slick collection of sporty, uptown separates for her younger DKNY line at New York Fashion Week today.

Boy-jackets and "Teddy Boy" coats came in intersecting panels of cream and black or navy and black. Slinky knits and sweater dresses wee in eye-popping stripes of red and black or red and pink. A maxi dress, fully Sunray-pleated from neck to ankle, was in contrast segments of sugar-pink, tan, black, and powder.

An alternative to the coat or jacket was the cape, seen in short, grazing-the -waist lengths or well below the knee. The interplay of line and hue encompassed tweedy coats with knitted sleeves, and red tweed bombers with different-hued, fleck tweed minis or skirts. Offbeat colour combinations included mustard and red, or tan and pink.

The graphics concept extended to the stack-heeled Mary Janes in suede and leather, with a fine stripe of silver or gold mark the outline of the shoe.

Source.

Alexander Wang: Style as Sport

New York – If Alexander Wang's fall 2011 New York fashion show on Saturday, Feb. 12, was any indication of his spirits this icy season, then he is in a playful (both sporty and funny) mood these days. And with good reason - with his flagship store grand opening on Grand Street in Manhattan later this week, his fall collection is all about "hybriding," as he said after the show, and clearly the ball is in his court.
The 26-year-old designer, who has already established himself as one of fashion's most promising talents, made uncommon match-ups in textures and styles, taking this winter's pervasive urban snow bunny to a whole new level.
"Really common things like polar fleece and anorak and combining it with the idea of decadence," Wang explained, resulting in pieces such as boxing shorts and track pants with cummerbund detail and merino lapel pea coat with puffer sleeves. Motorcycle jackets with tuxedo tails and taffeta bomber ponchos with quilted leather spats took the sport of keeping warm while looking cool to the extreme.
Especially impressive pieces involved the fusion of two distinct materials such as angora and satin, and making one nearly ascend into the other, smoothly melting into each other, as seen on a needle punch sweater cape. Streamer dresses were sexy and subtle and left a lingering presence even after they waved adieu.
"Taking things that felt very active and sporty and kind of combining that with this idea of the stereotypes of wealth, and poking fun at it," Wang said with a chuckle.
His lightheartedness came through in fall sandals with fur toe straps and heel capes that hung off the back ankle, almost mockingly. Sunglasses with mink goggle straps were the ultimate nudge to the affluent and will no doubt be an ultimate fall accessory. Wang's humorous approach to fashion will certainly be followed by serious success.

Natural Face Skin Cleaning

The first step in caring for sensitive skin is externally cleaned properly. Perspiration, grease, dust, stale makeup, dirt and bacteria collect all the skin and should be removed completely. Use cleansing cream, milk or lotion, or just cold cream to clean sensitive skin. Apply the cream to the face and neck and massage gently rub the cream into the face and neck in circular motion and upward for at least five minutes (the duration depends on the instructions supplied with the cream you are using). Remove excess cream with a tissue, wet cotton wool or a small wet towel.

Then, the skin tone by using skin freshener (mild), tonic (mean force) or an astringent lotion (strong). Toning is important because it removes any residual greasiness of the skin after the cleaning process is complete. It closes the pores, refines skin, and if you intend to use make-up, leaving a clean smooth texture, foundation and powder to be held much longer.

Nourishing the skin is an essential part of any beauty routine. Dirt, dust, heat and cold, cosmetics and even sunlight all tend to dry the skin, robbing it of moisture and oil. Skin nourishing food to rebuild attempt to give the skin its natural wholesomeness. You do not need a thick skin and heavy cream every night. If you do not like greasy face when he goes to bed, simply choose a lightweight, easy to absorb moisture that may disappear in minutes. Many of the new hydrating liquid fall into this category.

Beautiful Eyes Makeup - Eyeliners

Eyeliners are meant to define the eyes so they should do just that, not being the focal point of your makeup. Eyeliners come in various colors and forms liquid, pencil etc. Keep the eyeliner natural. Pencils are available in various colors (for the best look stick to black or brown) and can be sharpened to a fine line. For a smudged effect use a sponge tip shadow applicator or an eye shadow brush. When your pencils are too soft refrigerate them. When they soften too hard keeping their fingers.

To line the eye, starting with the lower lid, just below the lashes. When you are finished always smudge the line with your sponge. Stay as close to lash line as possible. On the upper lid, draw a line form the inner corner towards the outer corner, thickening the line toward the outside corner. After age 40 maintain the line between the lashes.

Mascara and the creation of stunning eyelashes:

Mascara frames your eyes and can make your face come alive. Mascara slightly accentuates the eye while thickening and darkening the lashes, is the final touch for the eyes. There are several types to choose from, thickening, and waterproof to fade proof. Waterproof will need a special remover and stain proof will wash off easily. Not a good idea to wear waterproof mascara for extended periods of time because they tend to dry the lashes.

Select a shade of mascara that complements your coloring. Dark shades over his eyes with brown lashes will darken and will be tough. Stay away from blues and other colors since they will ruin your look.

Lashes that are hard to curl may need the help of a curler. Curl your eyelashes before applying mascara - hold for ten to twenty seconds.

To apply mascara look straight into your mirror with your chin slightly raised so you can see your eyelashes. Insert the wand only once and twist, not pump. Pumping can break the brush bristles and distribute the mascara unevenly and dry the mascara faster. Start by rolling the wand from root to tip with an upward motion. Reinsert the brush and apply again. If your eyelashes are thick and long that may clunk together. If this happens let them dry and then separate the angle of an eyebrow brush.

Fashion : How To Wear A Lace Wig

With wigs becoming much more of a decision for many women, the market has responded with a vast collection of styles and brands. major factors are what the wigs are made of, is a real hair, most of the other is synthetic, a lot of people would choose the real hair wig, but you must consider your budget and time needed to treat your new wig.

wig hair of a person as it seems is made from real hair, a lot of hair used for making wigs comes from these types of Asian-born women. The hair has its own characteristics was very heavy, black and straight hair and even higher quality can be obtained from these areas of China. Both types of hair are obviously black and died immediately. This is good to do first black wigs, though not so great for each head curly red wig. To capture this hair is treated with a series of dyes and bleaches, which affects the quality of the wig hair of a person at the end.

The first levels in the market for human hair wig wigs were made of hair that could come from Eastern European countries like Poland or Russia. The price of these wigs is much higher, but the caliber of the hair is taller and look better and work for you much longer.

If your choice is to get a human hair wig, be sure that you are spending a lot of money doing your research and investigate the origin on hair that is used to manufacture wigs, since they do not want to be spending $ 500 on a wig and discover that European human hair was made of Asian hair.

Consider the features of top of owning and caring for human hair wig. The first thing you think is the time the wig can last over a synthetic one, is much longer, even up to 10 times longer if your wig is maintained properly. Another reason is the look that is as human as possible, since it is the natural hair wigs are often in style with heated styling tools, as was a brief one bevel. The latter is a human hair, so handle with care.

So now we have emphasized the benefits of a human hair hairpiece, so are the disadvantages of having one, let me think, so I could only consider a couple really. You have the right to re-style your wig after each washing is assigned, since it does not offer human hair style, like a synthetic wig, the price of these kinds of wigs is much more than other choices, but my opinion is go higher if you want your results.

Gossip Girl : Fashion Is a Drug

Richard Lawson & Brian Moylan — This week's episode saw a fancy fashion show, a drugged young thing in serious need of help, a couple struggling to get out of their rut and back into the groove, and lots and lots of hookers.

If there's one thing that Gossip Girls gets right (and there are many), it's the importance of teenagers. Teenagers are really just the best, most interesting, and most effectual people a person can ever know. Are you some bumbling idiot middle-ager who just doesn't get it? Well, call a teenager. Feeling loveless and lonely and terribly old? Call some teenagers and watch them make out for a while. They are just the balm of Gilead to this weary, crumbling modern world of ours. Why just look at the Gossip Girl kids!
Young Jenny. Why, she knows more about fashion than esteemed stage actress Margaret Colin! Yes, famous fashion designer Winksy Waldorf was back on the show tonight, conveniently in time for Jenny to start turning her life around. See she's been in a bad way this season — consorting with Canadians from the movie Air Bud, being disrespectful to her Sister-Father Rufus, telling school to stuff it in a sack — and she's ready to climb on out of her Jenny pit and reenter the bright world of good. And what better way to become a responsible citizen of teenage America than by ~~studying hard in school and being nice to people~~ joining the fashion industry. Winksy accepted Jenny's apology (even though Winksy totally tried to rip Jenny off, didn't she?) and rehired her, after some begging by Ma Humphrey.
The situation was this: Winksy is selling out. Yep, the economy has tumbled down the filthy rabbit hole that's under the outhouse and no one's buying high-end clothes anymore. So for her new Young Adult line (clearly the most important line) Winksy has decided to go low-rent and is trying to get a Wal-Mart-esque super emporium to carry the collection of black riding outfits and classroom-friendly bondage gear. Though this pains Winksy's daughter, Blair, she is willing to help out in any way she can. The way she can help out, of course, is teens. More teens, please. Hot oval-teens, please! I'll have the two teens value meal with a diet teen. To go! Well, OK, maybe they weren't teens exactly. Winksy wanted to show Mr. Walmart that she could sell her clothes in middle America, so she asked Blair to invite her friends from NYU to the fashion show, to prove that normal kids like the garments. Yes, because if there's any representative of middle America, it's an NYU freshman.
It was a great idea! There was only one problem. Blair doesn't have any NYU friends. Because if there's one thing that NYU kids don't like, it's girls with nice clothes and lots of money whose moms are famous fashion designers. So who's she going to bring? She can't tell her mom that she is failing at social college. Aha! An idea. Remember from a million episodes ago when there was that whole thing with prostitutes that lived in the NYU dorms? Well, yeah, Blair decided to call them. 30 of them. At $300/hour each. Last I checked, that's $9,000 an hour. That's a lotta clams! For just 30 clams. (BAZUMBO.) Well, OK, it wasn't all clams. There was a rentboy there too. So the fashion show goes and all the middle-American NYU hooker girls squeal with delight but Mr. Walmart shakes his big gray head and says "No. No." He does not like it. Why? Because, as he says to Blair, he didn't know that prostitutes were the Winksy Waldorf Designs way. Yes, he knew Blair had hired help. But how?
Well, it turned out that Mr. Walmart had a sex appointment with the male rentboy hooker gigolo. Yes! If you are scratching your head and asking "Wait, but why, if a gay hooker prostitute male that he had secretly slept with was in the room, would Mr. Walmart spill the beans and tell Blair that he knew there were hookers about?" then just hold perfectly still and Stephanie Savage will come and lobotomize you. It's a perfectly reasonably plot-based question to ask in any normal realm, but this is Gossip Girl we're talking about. Anyway, Blair found out that Mr. Walmart had been getting his roll backs on with Young Deuce Bigalow, and she blackmailed him into extending her mother an offer. (Because he's so cagey about someone finding out he sleeps with hookers, except for when he tells Blair that he sees a hoo— Stephanie, no! Noo!! Noooooo!!!) But in the end Winksy couldn't sell out, so she told Mr. Walmart no and he bow-legged outta there so fast you'd think he was headed to go have sex with a hottie male sex worker. Which he was. Blair then decided that she'd have more friends at Columbia, so look for that to happen.
Meanwhile Jenny was getting drugged by Caitlin Cooper from The OC. Yeah, I don't know. There was some bullshit about the Agnes model character from a while ago wanting to get revenge, so she had her bitchy friend put a few of Air Bud's Magic Delirium Capsules into Jenny's champagne (which sixteen year olds just drink, with impunity, while interning at fashion shows). "Wuhhh whoaaahhhhhh" Jenny said after gulping down the champagne. "The Jenster doesn't feel so goood...." And Agnes and her bitchy friends laughed and said "Come on, let's go get her raped." This is actually what they did! They took the Jenster, who was wearing a lampshade on her head and singing the Pina Colada song, to some random nightclub and dumped her at a bachelor party and were like "Have fun boys!" And, like, I know that Men Are Evil, but would anyone really, at a bachelor party surrounded by friends, be like "Awwww yeahhh" at the sixteen-year-old who can't even stand up and has a trickle of vomit running down her chin and has soiled herself and is quietly and obliviously mumbling monologues from William Inge plays to herself? I just don't think so. But sure enough, on Gossip Girl there was one jerk who was into it. So Jenny was going to get raped! Ha ha, what a fun plotline.
Luckily Nate came to her rescue and now Jenny is butt-crazy in love with him and will try to steal him from the lithesome Serena. Which, gross. Jenny and Nate doing it would be like mashing two Skipper dolls together.
Another thing that happened this episode was that Chuck and his mom were all fighting about the hotel stuff while Jack Bass the Jackass glowered with his dumb beard. Turns out mom's in love with Jack, and will do whatever he says, including dicking over her one and only orphaned son. Ed Westwick got to Act a lot in this episode, with tears and growling and stuff, so good for him. And then his mom was all "I'm not your mom" and Westwicky knew she was lying but he let her lie and drive away. And you know what? After Mulholland Drive came out I was all "Why didn't Laura Harring get famous like Naomi Watts got famous?" And then I realized last night that, oh, Laura Harring just can't really act all that well. That's all.
Dan and Vanessa were having problems. They're slowly starting to realize that they are the most boring people in the world, so they want to spice things up. Well Vanessa does, at least. So her strategy was to dress up like Grace Kelly in Rear Window and, in a sexy cavewoman purr, to tell Dan "You can rear me in my window." Dan's eyes bulged out and an owwoooga car horn sounded and then Ma Rufus showed up wearing his big farm dress and bonnet, throwing seeds to the chickens and saying "Come on now, git. Come on now, shoo, shoo." He proceeded to hang out with Vanessa and Dan even though they were on a sexy date. Because Rufus is sad and lonely. What a dump. What a sad thing. In the end Dan convinced Vanessa that they can still do the same old things they did as friends and be romantic at the same time. The romantic part comes when she delicately alfreds his hitchcock. That never happened when they were friends! Vanessa nodded her heavy, fur-matted head and that was that. Rufus watched from a peephole for a spell and then turned and looked out the window. Storm was brewing. So he went out to the porch and called out to Jenny. "Jenny, you come back in this house now, you hear? Storm's a'comin' and I don't want you catchin' your death of cold and making Doc Turner come all the way out here to check up on ya. And close the gate on your way in, you know how the pigs get in this weather." He looked off for a while, waiting for Jenny, then shook his head and tsked and trundled back into the house and sat down in his favorite rocking chair and closed his eyes and said "Lord above. Lorrrd above."
And that was pretty much the episode. If you looked closely you could see Erik a few times briefly in the episode. There he was as a friend of the male sex hooker, clutching his hand in a vain attempt at genuine intimacy. There he was, bewigged and glad in a black handbag dress, walking the runway for Winksy's show. There he was, sitting glumly at the bachelor party bar, muttering to himself about life and love and men and marriage. And there he was outside the Humphrey house, a small speck in the distance, running against the storm-streaked sky. He was heading to the barn, we think, for shelter. But we do not know if he made it. We just do not know.
OK BRIAN. How'd everyone do in the rankings this week? Are they in Barney's territory or Ames land?
Thanks, Richard. As always we have a special shoppers who fared well, but most everyone ended up in Filene's Basement. Here are the running tallies.

Dorota:
Fashion Points: Maid outfits come in maternity sizes: +2
Power Play: Knows how to negotiate rates for a hooker: +1
Total: 3
Season to Date: 52
Power Position: Up

Blair:
Family Secrets: Her mother still loves her, even if she's a loser: +1
Fashion Points: That bowler hat: -1, The off-color zipper up the back of her dress: -1
Power Play: Has no friends to bring to mommy's fashion show: -2, She's still a big shot at Columbia: +1
Social Schemes: Has to hire a hooker to be her friend: -2, Can only find a hooker named after a university: -1, Her plan fails and the guy from Conwell's knows she hired hookers: -2, Uses the Conwell's guy love of (hot!) gay hookers against him: +3
Total: -4
Season to Date: 30
Power Position: Down

Chuck:
Family Secrets: His mother isn't really his mother: -2, No, wait, she is!: +2, But she's leaving him: -2, But she's an evil, manipulative simpleton, so it's probably for the best: +2
Fashion Points: Purple!: -1, No one wears a suit quite like Chuck Bass: +2
Power Play: Kicked out of his own hotel: -2, His army is Blair, stupid Nate, and skanky Serena. He's doomed: -1, His mother loves his Evil Uncle Jack more than she loves him or his money: -2
Social Schemes: His mother and Evil Uncle Jack totally dick him over: -1, He has got a plan and a formidable ally in Blair. Shit is about to get good: +2
Total: -2
Season to Date: 23
Power Position: Up

Nate:
Personality Flaw: After all those years hanging out with Chuck, he should know what a hooker looks like: -1
Power Play: Knows how to use technology to save Jenny: +1, Rescues Jenny from a horny hedge funder: +2, He even gives her a little pep talk and lifts her gothy spirits: +1
Sexual Intrigue: Serena taught him what role play is: +2
Social Schemes: Devised a plan to end Evil Uncle Jack: +2, It fails: -1, Why do he and Serena think that they can pull off a scam like they're Chuck and Blair?: -1
WTF: Is it just us or did Nate get like smart and cool over night?: +2
Total: 7
Season to Date: 8
Power Position: Up

Rufus:
Personality Flaw: Finally admits there is more to life than waffles: +2, Makes them anyway: -1
Power Play: His idea of grounding Jenny involves letting her leave the house go to work, get drugged, get felt up by a drunk hedge funders, come home stoned, and not even notice that any of this happened: -3, Invades Dan's Brooklyn pussy den: -1
Sexual Intrigue: No wonder Dan is so clueless about women with Rufus as his role model: -1
WTF: Now that Lily is gone, he's the designated ignorer of poor gay Eric: -1
Total: -5
Season to Date: -10
Power Position: Even

Stupid Jenny:
Personality Flaw: Leaves a model alone with a bag full of drugs. That is never a scenario that ends well: -2, Wow, she really pulled it together to keep Rufus from finding out she was stoned: +1
Power Play: Gets Elinor's shade, but also gets a second chance: Even, Underage drinking: +1 (we've all been there, honey), For some reason we can't figure out, Nate still likes her: +1
Sexual Intrigue: Even a bunch of horny, drunk hedge funders don't want to sleep with her: -1
Social Schemes: Evil model Agnes is going to fuck her over big time: -2, She lets an ugly model and a bitter stylist ruin her big return to fashion: -2, Drugged!: -3, Left to get date and statutory raped in a room full of horny, drunk hedge funders: -2, Knows everyone hates her, and knowing is half the battle: +1
Total: -8
Season to Date: -20
Power Position: Down

Vanessa:
Family Secrets: Everyone knows she's dating Dan: -1, The lady dreads seemed to be tamed: +2
Fashion Points: The Grace Kelly outfit looks like a Halloween costume she threw together out of the wardrobe of a girl who is a foot shorter than she is: -2
Personality Flaw: Hasn't seen a movie made this century. Smoke a doobie and go see Hot Tub Time Machine like a regular college student, would you!: -1
Sexual Intrigue: Doesn't know how to spice up her love life: -1, Gets a lesson from Serena. Next thing you know she'll be wearing tiny, tiny dresses and fucking everything that moves: -2, This wouldn't be the worst thing: +2, Lets Dan convince her that not taking her in public and only buying her noodles is actually a good thing: -2
Total: -5
Season to Date: -20
Power Position: Down

Lily:
WTF: She doesn't even warrant a mention this episode and forgot to leave instructions about the care of her mute gay son: -2
Total: -2
Season to Date: -26
Power Position: Up

Dan:
Family Secrets: Everyone knows he's dating Vanessa: -1, They still like him, which is amazing: +1
Personality Flaw: Wants to be a boring married person and stay home and watch movies. You're 19. At least take your girlfriend out and get drunk!: -2
Sexual Intrigue: Serena is giving his girlfriend slutting lessons, which can only mean there is lots of sex and whipped cream in his future: +2 Has no clue what women want, whether it's Serena, Olivia (we miss you!), or Vanessa: -3, Thinks what he and Vanessa had was enough: -1, He has Vanessa whipped! She fell for that whole "what we did as friends was enough" bullshit. That is some serious scamming, Dan: +4
Total: 0
Season to Date: -30
Power Position: Up

Serena:
Personality Flaw: Looks down on hookers. Hello, Serena. They have probably had less sex than you have, and they're smart enough to charge for it: -2
Sexual Intrigue: Giving lessons on being a slut to Vanessa. Finally, she uses her powers for good: +2, She and Nate are not Blair and Chuck and their schemes always fail. When will she learn this?: -2, Her boyfriend is off saving a little girl instead of attending to her insatiable needs: -1
Total: -3
Season to Date: -51
Power Position: Up

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